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'' #& ''  1'!$' :; 3 < = 5 >6?@7AB8C!D$9'E(F,b$.TQs{} 0e0e A@A18c8c     ?1d0u0@Ty2 NP'p<'p@A)BCD|E?@@8-.g4<d<dv 0bPppp@  p3ʚ;|'ʚ;<4dd4b{ 0 bb<4dddd4b{ 0 bb<4cdcd4b{ 0 bbnf___PPT9H/ 0,0? 5z|XFYG*(u_F}ԚҊ TL YUOܕaYeggQv T'`bc( vMelvin W. Wong, Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist www.ChristianMentalHealth.com Students@ChristianMentalHealth.comF=P#Zf ff b f b "fF v Wcw__tQ@W(N9}) <$jwww.ChristianMentalHealth.com **** www.AsianPsy.com **** www.ChineseMentalHealth.com **** Dr. Melvin WongXkZ((((((Pastoral Care RecommendationspSeparate  homosexuality from  gay from  SSA Acknowledge SSA-homosexuality is not a choice SSA persons are responsible for behaviors  Reparative drive self-repair masculine identity0/.*2Family Tree Diagram (DF( Healthy Relationship *DF( Healthy RelationshipD Healthy Relationship *DF( Healthy RelationshipD Unhealthy Relationship BeginsD 2Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins63DDD tFailure in (Father) Male-Attachment  Defensive Detachment  ;$('Object-Relations: Separation-Individuation Self-Identity Development: Who-What am I? Mom-Son: Physical-Emotional Detachment & Attachment Son-Dad: Bonding (Attachment failure: rejection)  Rejection = Pain; Detachment = No Pain Son-Dad relationship Disturbance  Sour Grape Syndrome as a defense against more hurts Avoids father: No  Aggressiveness-Toughness, etc. +Z"i+ *,)+"hHealthy Relationship "@B( Healthy Relationship@ Unhealthy Relationship Begins@ 2Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins"3@B+ 2Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Begins<3@ B+ B+B+ 5Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Continues<6@ B+ B+ B+ 7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies<8@ B+ B+ B+ 7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies<8@ B+ B+ B+ 7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies<8@ B+ B+ B+ 6Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies<7@ B+ B+ B+ 6Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies<7@ B+ B+ B+ Pastoral Care RecommendationsRSeparate  homosexuality from  gay from  SSA Acknowledge SSA-homosexuality is not a choice SSA persons are responsible for behaviors  Reparative drive self-repair masculine identity Healthy same-sex relationships are encouraged Acknowledge SSA person needs acceptance Reject genetic theory of homosexuality: Unscientific Aware of APA s Dr. Spitzer s new research findings Aware of the myths you most people believe of gaysF/.* 2VDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-Dr. Spitzer led the task force that in 1973 removed homosexuality from the official list of mental disorders contained in the psychiatricassociation's diagnostic manual. But he said he decided that a study was needed after talking withprotesters objecting to the association's policy discouraging suchtherapies. "It occurred to me that maybe the general consensus, which was that the behavior can be resisted but sexual orientation couldn't be changed, was wrong," Dr. Spitzer said.&ZbBDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-Still, he added that the number of homosexuals who could successfully become heterosexual was likely to be "pretty low." And he conceded that the subjects in the study were "unusually religious" and were not necessarilyrepresentative of most gays and lesbians in the United States. Of those who participated in the study, 78 percent had spoken publicly in favor of efforts to convert homosexuals to heterosexuality; 93 percent said religion was "extremely" or "very" important in their lives.bDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-About 40 percent said that before they decided to change their orientation they had been exclusively attracted to partners of the same sex. bDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-Dr. Spitzer said the subjects expressed different reasons for wantingto become heterosexual. They included the feeling that a gay "lifestyle" was "not emotionally satisfying" (81 percent of subjects); the belief that their religion conflicted with being gay (79 percent of subjects); and the desire to get married or to stay married (67 percent of the men, 35 percent of the women).b^%Dr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-9Some subjects - 11 percent of the men and 37 percent of the women -Dr. Spitzer said, reported being entirely free of homosexual feelings or sexual fantasies in the year before they were interviewed. But 29 percent of the men and 63 percent of the women said they were "only slightly bothered" by such feelings. :9`$Dr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-HThe researchers defined "good heterosexual functioning," as having been in a "loving and emotionally satisfying heterosexual relationship" for the year leading up to the interview, having engaged in satisfyingheterosexual sex at least monthly and having never or rarely thought of same-sex partners during heterosexual sex..LL``The Ethics of TreatmentIs Ego-Dystonic Homosexuality a Disease? What is unwanted Same-Sex-Attraction? Homosexuality vs. Gay? Genetics versus Environmental influences Hamer  Gay Gene LaVey  Brain Dissection Pillard & Bailey  Twin Studies Review of Treatment literature6))tFailure in (Father) Male-Attachment  Defensive Detachment  ;$('(Defensive Detachment Dr. Elizabeth Moberly Dr. Jospeh Nicolosi NARTH: National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality Gender Identity Disorder Dr. George Rekers Treatment for Adolescent Sexual Disorders Average 3.5 year-old Boys with gender identity confusion GID: Cross-dressing+FP*MB+F  *M/Failure in (Father) Male-Attachment  Defensive Attachment to Mother (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)*l$("'& Homosexuality primarily an Identity Disturbance A Disturbance of a person s Gender Identity A Disturbance of the Masculine Identity Development Upon failure to Attach (Separation-Individuation task) Defensive Detachment from Father Son s resultant yearning for Male attention and affirmation Curiosity for the unfamiliar:  Male aspects of Masculinity ID Causing a Defensive Attachement to Mother Son s Masculinity Development became frustrated & stops Over familiarity-socialization with females: No  Intrigue xZ!{*s\k!{*s  w }!Masculinity Identity Disturbances "+ +Victim of sexual abuse: Molestation-rape Pre-mature same sex sensitivity & curiosity Mixed emotions: Attention-Getting, Pain-Pleasure reversal Over-Identification with Mother-Sisters-Aunts Over-familiarity:  Know them (women) too well! Suffocation: Enmeshment-Limits & Boundary Dislike-Anger-Rage:  family s emotional baronmeter Role Reversals:  My mother s keeper! Misogynist Labeling that turns to a  Self-fulfilling prophesy  I am gay  I behave gay  Once gay, always gay UFhZZ4Z1ZU :.0*4041 B > Masculinity Identity Deficits Body Discomfort Dissatisfaction-rejection: own body Self insecurity: Emotional over-sensitivity  cave-ins Rejection of the  Real Self (Peer dependence) Yearning (craving) for the  perfect man body Attraction (obsessing-preoccupation) of Men Neurotic need for  Symbolic Union with  Man ,  Manhood ,  Symbols of Men Military, Police, Uniform, Power-Predation, Bondage6745 6],K 4dRoots of Homosexuality  Some Predisposing Factors 36Sensitive Temperaments: Gender non-conforming Causes detachment from peers Causes humiliation  Peer Abuse : Shame and Self Deficits Shame: a vulnerable feeling where self is eroded away Obssessiveness: Preocupation with what he doesn t have Attracted to the opposite qualities: Physique When the unattenable  Exotic becomes Erotic Perfectionistic: No rough-&-tumble play (Too aggressive) Seeks Attention, Approval, Affection & Affirmation You can t affirm what you don t have (gay sex).Z?ZZ6Z7Z[Z9ZbZ.?67[  9  b  > Q 00^Specific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000-2001 All rights reserved)(_*"?DSpiritual: Affirmation of Self-worth & Christ-likeness (identity development) Ideations: Reduction of Intrusive Thoughts (ideas vs. developed plans) Behavioral: Reduce Masturbation & Acting-Outs (demonstrate control) Relational: Increase Male non-sexual friendships ( I am one of the guys!)#nZ#$ESpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)(F*"& Spiritual:Affirmation of Self-worth & Christ-likeness Homosexual Urges vs. Behaviors (Acting-Out) Initial Ideation & Urges not sinful but legitimate Heterosexual Ideation & Urges are not sinful Developed Ideations-Plans are sinful:  Lust Mat 5:28 Assure of God s Patience in Forgiveness Acceptance  Go and sin no more&  Leave your life of sin John 8:11 Learning to Trust God in Recovery & Healing  Stock-Market Trend:  Cyclical-Rise improvement Prayers & Worship: Heavenly-Earthly Father06Z,Z3Z-Z6Z(ZCZ,Z2Z+Z6,3-,    (    - ,2+ESpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)(F*"& Ideations: Reduction of Intrusive Thoughts Explain thought origin, validation not encouragement Desperate crave for intimacy and acceptance Develop insight into precusors of thoughts: HALT Re-interpret to reframe the meaning of the thoughts Neediness and affirmation needs Re-direct thoughts with more competitive thoughts Accountability partner-tell a friend Medication: SSRI s (Selective-Serotonin-Reuptake Inhibitors) Fluoxetine:Prozac, Sertraline:Zoloft, Paroxetine:Paxil+5,e 2%=7+ 5,e 2  %  B+B7B,  M*,ESpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)(F*"& Behavioral: Reduce Masturbation & Acting-Outs Goal is to reduce frequency and intensity Check-in with client weekly: Accountability How did it feel afterwards?  Good but bad! Reduce stimuli: No Cyperporn, chats, media Positive-Negative reinforcements Commendations, Loss of spouse, rubber-bands Medication: Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil help.ZVZ,ZMZ,Z'Z.V,M,'+-ESpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)(F*"& >Relational: Increase Male non-sexual friendships Reduce same-sex pedestal effect of males Develop insight of over-adulation and devaluation Develop courage to befriend attractive males Sexual-attraction desensitization, ego-stability  I m one of the guys!  I can t believe I belong! Learn to keep relationships: reduce jealousy Group meetings-activities with guys Attend regular self-help groups: EA, SA s, Exodus1Z)Z2Z-ZZ$Z2Z1)2-$  1 :Femininity Identity Crisis & the Development of Lesbianism*;((!(Serious hurts and pains from males Fathers who failed or abused them Believes mother is weak as a woman Rejects self as women; Rejects womanhood (Pain) as being unsafe Sexual abuse-promiscuity resulting in men-hating  If I can be a man I will be safe from harm! Multi-layered-loose clothes,  Walk like a man, talks like a man  I hate make-up  It s oppressive-sexism-slave! $P"P#P@P_ZrZ$$" # @ _r  $&&What do Lesbians say about themselves?''$ I m unhappy with being a woman; it s weakness  When I discovered the gay bar, I finally came home  I feel like I am a man in a woman s body I don t need men, (I hate-despise them!)  I am more  homo-emotional than homosexual  Smoking, alcohol and drugs are cool!  You don t understand how we love, it s better!  Women is a stronger sex! Men are weak! *in06,.LSpecific Treatment Issues for Lesbians (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)M'%& HAcknowledge-resolve sexual abuse(s) Work through pain to develop male-trust again Reconciliation with Mother and Father Say goodbye to girlfriends Attempt to embrace femininism Put on a dress? Try cosmetics. Try high heels Have feminine affirmation by male-females Involve with women s groups`$._.F$._.F&(New Male BehaviorsSelf-Acceptance: Body-Comfort: I m okay! Male-Resocialization: I am one of the guys! Mother will be okay if I let her go! Mom, do you want a son or a nurse? I can t be both! Accountability Person: No more secrets! Female-Resocialization From  I want a masculine woman who is not dependent To  Women can be feminine and they are attractive. x{n4n?njn{3?14')Emergence of the New-SelfOvercoming the Expectations of Old Community Change always unstablizing: Courage to move on Rejection of others:  You have Changed! What happened? Establishing a New Social Paradigm Relationships are Neutral-Mutual: Non-Shame based Male Non-Sexual Relationships Female  Non-Default Relationships: No more  Safe-Retreats Female Emotional-Physical-Sexual Relationships Overcoming Fears: Enmeshment, Physical-Sexual  Space Dependency vs. Initiative Behaviors:  Take a Lead!  Can say No!  It s okay to be a Leader! Making a Commitment: Litmus Test of Enmeshment Resolution -ZgZ#PPZ,/8# P</6  ^  ;  //What is Healing & Recovery?@TPresence or Absence of SSA  Orientation ? Realistic Expectations: Some Traces of SSA Memories Can t be Completely Obliterated, But Emotions Can Reduce Significantly Degree or Intensity of SSA s? Overwhelming vs.  In Passing  Non-Dwelling The Recovered vs. The Strugglers Addiction Cycles: Presence or Absence? Intrusive Thoughts Preoccupation & Obsessions Secret vs. Honesty Litmus Tests: Stressful Times, Unstructured Times*F{PF-F!FhF2F*D+DOFDD,FD!DhD2FWhat can you do to care?Start with a secure gender identity with self Educate in the issues of sexuality in general Current issues: Research & the politics of sex Pastors and leaders include sex as topics Do not only single out homosexuality as sin Include: Premarital-extramarital, greed, lies Don t make fun of homosexuality generally Receive training of sexual sensitivity Have former homosexuals come speakj\Z/ZVZ.ZtZ\/V.t"Religious Resources-Support Groups##(LExodus International (North-America) ExodusNorthAmerica.org ChristianMentalHealth.com National Association for Research & Therapy for Homosexuality narth.com Regeneration Books (Exodus Member) 410-661-4337 Courage (Catholic) 212-268-1010 Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays Pfox.org Evergreen International (Mormoms) Evergreen-intl.org%P1P?Z PP<%1D?BF FBBLB F"BF>z/ !"#$Pb  ` f3Eh` ff` MMMwww` ff3f3>?" dd@,?nKd@  d @nK` d n?" dd@   @@``PR    @ ` ` p>> "    (  T 1  "1  S BC1DEF ?Z B 0Z @1  S BB C DEF?rA r @\   S B+ C DEF?v*  v @   S BCIDEF??H\ @ I  N4gֳgֳ ?"  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Son-1 D2   fpgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    ZTgֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     TDgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PvB  ND)?P 0 #   f,1?0 0  ESon separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully ,F(2DDfDfT  <d޽h ? a(r   5    (     `gֳgֳ ?      `Еgֳgֳ ?    dB  <)?P0P  Zgֳgֳp?  8Father   Tgֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2   fgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    Zdgֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     T8gֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PpB  HD)?0    fĪ1?   x>Son attempts to attach to father for Gender-Identity formation?(2?DfT  <d޽h ? a(V   5   v (     `Xgֳgֳ ?      `gֳgֳ ?    dB  <)?P0P  Zgֳgֳp?  8Father   T`gֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2   fgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    ZLgֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     Tgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PpB  HD)?0 z   fX1?   Son s attempts to attach to father was rebuffed and he experiences rejection and hurtV(2VDfpB  HD)? T  <d޽h ? a(v   5    (     `gֳgֳ ?      `gֳgֳ ?    dB  <)?P0P  Zgֳgֳp?  8Father   T$gֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2   fgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    Z8gֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     Tgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PpB  HD)?0    f1?   .Son s attempts to defend against more pain from rejection by defensively detaching from father s relationship emotionally z8Z2zDfpB  HD)?    `4>?P0  > T  <d޽h ? a(@ G h(  ~  s *@     s * <$ 0  H  0޽h ? ̙33   5 ) !  (     `gֳgֳ ?      `gֳgֳ ?    dB  <)?P0P  Zpgֳgֳp?  8Father   Tgֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2   f gֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    Zgֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     Tgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PvB  ND)?P 0 #   fH1?0 0  ESon separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully ,F(2DDfDfT  <d޽h ? a(r   5     (       `#gֳgֳ ?       `|$gֳgֳ ?    dB   <)?P0P   ZP&gֳgֳp?  8Father    T)gֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2    f`-gֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2   <p?@ 0    Z0gֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     T\5gֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB   <p?P 0 dB   <p?` dB   <p?PpB   HD)?0     f91?   x>Son attempts to attach to father for Gender-Identity formation?(2?DfT   <d޽h ? a(V   5   v (     `TAgֳgֳ ?      `Bgֳgֳ ?    dB  <)?P0P  ZCgֳgֳp?  8Father   T\Ggֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2   fJgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    Zd2gֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     TQgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PpB  HD)?0 z   f8U1?   Son s attempts to attach to father was rebuffed and he experiences rejection and hurtV(2VDfpB  HD)? T  <d޽h ? a(x   5    (     `\gֳgֳ ?      `]gֳgֳ ?    dB  <)?P0P  Z_gֳgֳp?  8Father   Tcgֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2   ffgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2  <p?@ 0    Zigֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d   <p?@ @ d   <p?@     Tgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB   <p?P dB  <p?P 0 dB  <p?` dB  <p?PpB  HD)?0    fq1?   0Son s attempts to defend against more pain from rejection by defensively detaching from father s relationship emotionally"z8Z2zEfpB  HD)?    ` x>?P0  > T  <d޽h ? a(H   5   0$h (  $ $  `}gֳgֳ ?    $  `@~gֳgֳ ?    dB $ <)?P0P $ Zgֳgֳp?  8Father  $ Tgֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2 $  f$gֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2 $ <p?@ 0   $ Zxgֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d  $ <p?@ @ d  $ <p?@    $ T gֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB  $ <p?P dB $ <p?P 0 dB $ <p?` dB $ <p?PpB $ HD)?0 pB $ HD)? |B $ TD)?  0  $  f,1?  |BSon has no choice but to re-attach with mom for emotional securityC(2CDf $  `p>?P0  > T $ <d޽h ? a(   5  w @, (  , ,  `gֳgֳ ?    ,  `(gֳgֳ ?    dB , <)?P0P , Zgֳgֳp?  8Father  , T4gֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2 ,  f̧gֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2 , <p?@ 0   , Z gֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d  , <p?@ @ d  , <p?@    , Tȯgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB  , <p?P dB , <p?P 0 dB , <p?` dB , <p?PpB , HD)?0 pB , HD)? |B , TD)?  0 / ,  fԴ1?  _Son has no choice but to re-attach with mom for emotional security Forming Defensive Attachment`(2`DfvB , ND)?P @`  ,  `ĺ>?P0  > T , <d޽h ? a(K   5 P4k(  4 4  `(gֳgֳ ?    4  `gֳgֳ ?    dB 4 <)?P0P 4 Zgֳgֳp?  8Father  4 T0gֳgֳ?`  ? Son-1 D2 4  fgֳgֳp?@ :Mother d2 4 <p?@ 0   4 Zgֳgֳ?   :Daughter  d  4 <p?@ @ d  4 <p?@    4 Tgֳgֳ?V v  7Son-2 dB  4 <p?P dB 4 <p?P 0 dB 4 <p?` dB 4 <p?PpB 4 HD)?0  4  f1?   D(2D pB 4 HD)? |B 4 TD)?  0 7 4  f`1?  gSon generalizes defensive detachment to defensively attach to girls and women: Non- aggressive & softerh(2hDfvB 4 ND)?P @`  4  `>?P0  > vB 4@ ND)?  T 4 <d޽h ? a(F ! 5 `<f(  < <  `Pgֳgֳ ?    <  ` gֳgֳ ?    dB < <)?P0P < Zgֳgֳp?  8Father  < TXgֳgֳ?`  ? 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Wong, Ph.D. &   ) )   . .(2 JMelvin W. Wong, Ph.D. &   ) )   .@Times New Roman- .42 }=Licensed Clinical Psychologist       . .42 |<Licensed Clinical Psychologist       .@Times New Roman- . 2 www. . . 2 www. .@Times New Roman- .2  Christian  . .2  Christian  .@Times New Roman- .2 MentalHealth.com$    . .2 MentalHealth.com$    .@Times New Roman- .:2 "Students@ChristianMentalHealth.com  "      . .:2 "Students@ChristianMentalHealth.com  "      .--"System-&TNPP &mmmmm풒  !"#% ՜.+,0   4On-screen Showwj" )Times New Roman Wingdings 標楷體 新細明體ffArialBlue Diagonal>用心聆聽體諒同行 如何關愛教會內的同性戀者Pastoral Care RecommendationsFamily Tree Diagram Healthy Relationship Healthy RelationshipHealthy Relationship Healthy RelationshipUnhealthy Relationship Begins3Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins?Failure in (Father) Male-Attachment “Defensive Detachment”Healthy Relationship Healthy RelationshipUnhealthy Relationship Begins3Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins3Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Begins6Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Continues8Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies8Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies8Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment SolidifiesPastoral Care RecommendationsMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times;Femininity Identity Crisis & the Development of Lesbianism'What do Lesbians say about themselves?NSpecific Treatment Issues for Lesbians (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)What is Healing & Recovery?What can you do to care?#Religious Resources-Support Groups  Fonts UsedDesign Template Slide Titles"'_Sj Dr. Melvin WongDr. Melvin Wongmmm풒쒒풒쒒풒mmmm뒼m쒒𼼼mCCmmmC Cm mmm m mCCmm m CmCCC  CC  m C Cm C𼒒CCmmmmCCm CmCCCCCCC뒒풼Cmm m "--&TNPP & ՜.+,0   4On-screen Showwj" )Times New Roman Wingdings 標楷體 新細明體ffArialBlue Diagonal>用心聆聽體諒同行 如何關愛教會內的同性戀者Pastoral Care RecommendationsFamily Tree Diagram Healthy Relationship Healthy RelationshipHealthy Relationship Healthy RelationshipUnhealthy Relationship Begins3Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins?Failure in (Father) Male-Attachment “Defensive Detachment”Healthy Relationship Healthy RelationshipUnhealthy Relationship Begins3Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins3Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Begins6Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Continues8Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies8Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies8Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment SolidifiesPastoral Care RecommendationsMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesMDr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times;Femininity Identity Crisis & the Development of Lesbianism'What do Lesbians say about themselves?NSpecific Treatment Issues for Lesbians (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)What is Healing & Recovery?What can you do to care?#Religious Resources-Support Groups  Fonts UsedDesign Template Slide Titles"disposing Factors”`Specific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000-2001 All rights reserved)GSpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)GSpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)GSpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)GSpecific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000);Femininity Identity Crisis & the Development of Lesbianism'What do Lesbians say about themselves?NSpecific Treatment Issues for Lesbians (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)New Male BehaviorsEmergence of the New-SelfWhat is Healing & Recovery?What can you do to care?#Religious Resources-Support Groups  Fonts UsedDesign Template Slide Titles1'_Dr. Melvin WongDr. Melvin Wong  !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~      !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghiklmnopqrstuvwx{|}~Root EntrydO)Iz PicturesCurrent User$MSummaryInformation(jPowerPoint Document(]wjDocumentSummaryInformation8b( 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'' #& ''  1!$' :; 3 < = 5 >6?@7AB8C!D$9'E2 0e0e A@A18c8c     ?1d0u0@Ty2 NP'p<'p@A)BCD|E?@@8-.g4<d<dv 0bPppp@  p3ʚ;|'ʚ;<4ddb{ 0bb<4ddddb{ 0bb<4cdcdb{ 0b:2b:2___PPT9/ 0? 5@YG*(u_F}ԚҊ TL YUOܕaYeggQv T'`bc( vMelvin W. Wong, Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist www.ChristianMentalHealth.com Students@ChristianMentalHealth.comF=P#Zf ff b f b "fF v Pastoral Care RecommendationspSeparate  homosexuality from  gay from  SSA Acknowledge SSA-homosexuality is not a choice SSA persons are responsible for behaviors  Reparative drive self-repair masculine identity0/.*2Family Tree Diagram (DF( Healthy Relationship *DF( Healthy RelationshipD Healthy Relationship *DF( Healthy RelationshipD Unhealthy Relationship BeginsD 2Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins63DDD tFailure in (Father) Male-Attachment  Defensive Detachment  ;$('Object-Relations: Separation-Individuation Self-Identity Development: Who-What am I? Mom-Son: Physical-Emotional Detachment & Attachment Son-Dad: Bonding (Attachment failure: rejection)  Rejection = Pain; Detachment = No Pain Son-Dad relationship Disturbance  Sour Grape Syndrome as a defense against more hurts Avoids father: No  Aggressiveness-Toughness, etc. +Z"i+ *,)+"hHealthy Relationship "@B( Healthy Relationship@ Unhealthy Relationship Begins@ 2Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins"3@B+ 2Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Begins<3@ B+ B+B+ 5Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Continues<6@ B+ B+ B+ 7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies<8@ B+ B+ B+ 7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies<8@ B+ B+ B+ 7Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies<8@ B+ B+ B+ 6Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies<7@ B+ B+ B+ 6Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies<7@ B+ B+ B+ Pastoral Care RecommendationsRSeparate  homosexuality from  gay from  SSA Acknowledge SSA-homosexuality is not a choice SSA persons are responsible for behaviors  Reparative drive self-repair masculine identity Healthy same-sex relationships are encouraged Acknowledge SSA person needs acceptance Reject genetic theory of homosexuality: Unscientific Aware of APA s Dr. Spitzer s new research findings Aware of the myths you most people believe of gays<]* 2VDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-Dr. Spitzer led the task force that in 1973 removed homosexuality from the official list of mental disorders contained in the psychiatricassociation's diagnostic manual. But he said he decided that a study was needed after talking withprotesters objecting to the association's policy discouraging suchtherapies. "It occurred to me that maybe the general consensus, which was that the behavior can be resisted but sexual orientation couldn't be changed, was wrong," Dr. Spitzer said.&ZbBDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-Still, he added that the number of homosexuals who could successfully become heterosexual was likely to be "pretty low." And he conceded that the subjects in the study were "unusually religious" and were not necessarilyrepresentative of most gays and lesbians in the United States. Of those who participated in the study, 78 percent had spoken publicly in favor of efforts to convert homosexuals to heterosexuality; 93 percent said religion was "extremely" or "very" important in their lives.bDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-About 40 percent said that before they decided to change their orientation they had been exclusively attracted to partners of the same sex. bDr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-Dr. Spitzer said the subjects expressed different reasons for wantingto become heterosexual. They included the feeling that a gay "lifestyle" was "not emotionally satisfying" (81 percent of subjects); the belief that their religion conflicted with being gay (79 percent of subjects); and the desire to get married or to stay married (67 percent of the men, 35 percent of the women).b^%Dr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-9Some subjects - 11 percent of the men and 37 percent of the women -Dr. Spitzer said, reported being entirely free of homosexual feelings or sexual fantasies in the year before they were interviewed. But 29 percent of the men and 63 percent of the women said they were "only slightly bothered" by such feelings. :9`$Dr. Robert Spitzer s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York TimesK-HThe researchers defined "good heterosexual functioning," as having been in a "loving and emotionally satisfying heterosexual relationship" for the year leading up to the interview, having engaged in satisfyingheterosexual sex at least monthly and having never or rarely thought of same-sex partners during heterosexual sex..LL`` :Femininity Identity Crisis & the Development of Lesbianism*;((!(Serious hurts and pains from males Fathers who failed or abused them Believes mother is weak as a woman Rejects self as women; Rejects womanhood (Pain) as being unsafe Sexual abuse-promiscuity resulting in men-hating  If I can be a man I will be safe from harm! Multi-layered-loose clothes,  Walk like a man, talks like a man  I hate make-up  It s oppressive-sexism-slave! $P"P#P@P_ZrZ$$" # @ _r  $&&What do Lesbians say about themselves?''$ I m unhappy with being a woman; it s weakness  When I discovered the gay bar, I finally came home  I feel like I am a man in a woman s body I don t need men, (I hate-despise them!)  I am more  homo-emotional than homosexual  Smoking, alcohol and drugs are cool!  You don t understand how we love, it s better!  Women is a stronger sex! Men are weak! *in06,.LSpecific Treatment Issues for Lesbians (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)M'%& HAcknowledge-resolve sexual abuse(s) Work through pain to develop male-trust again Reconciliation with Mother and Father Say goodbye to girlfriends Attempt to embrace femininism Put on a dress? Try cosmetics. Try high heels Have feminine affirmation by male-females Involve with women s groups`$._.F$._.F//What is Healing & Recovery?@TPresence or Absence of SSA  Orientation ? Realistic Expectations: Some Traces of SSA Memories Can t be Completely Obliterated, But Emotions Can Reduce Significantly Degree or Intensity of SSA s? Overwhelming vs.  In Passing  Non-Dwelling The Recovered vs. The Strugglers Addiction Cycles: Presence or Absence? Intrusive Thoughts Preoccupation & Obsessions Secret vs. Honesty Litmus Tests: Stressful Times, Unstructured Times*F{PF-F!FhF2F*D+DOFDD,FD!DhD2FWhat can you do to care?Start with a secure gender identity with self Educate in the issues of sexuality in general Current issues: Research & the politics of sex Pastors and leaders include sex as topics Do not only single out homosexuality as sin Include: Premarital-extramarital, greed, lies Don t make fun of homosexuality generally Receive training of sexual sensitivity Have former homosexuals come speakj\Z/ZVZ.ZtZ\/V.t"Religious Resources-Support Groups##(LExodus International (North-America) ExodusNorthAmerica.org ChristianMentalHealth.com National Association for Research & Therapy for Homosexuality narth.com Regeneration Books (Exodus Member) 410-661-4337 Courage (Catholic) 212-268-1010 Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays Pfox.org Evergreen International (Mormoms) Evergreen-intl.org%P1P?Z PP<%1D?BF FBBLB F"BF>z/ !"#$Pbr: Cj