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RRb]׿%LTZر'\)'HPQ[wirv4=,@{#E;)S(>ƒ٥S܃ú6D,r+kӑ*(@SCaKaW~&'v+VլmN% c%a%Fj|@tN[Y*rqwu_M>IA< E7,FeBIewM?^FG/ ZRUbG_]2_0ٙ@ڵ)ma-AeA%Cf@¼J)94+ O_iP>7HXx8Sk&TTTwTqc:WFNB[D+jZEX|+ˇxDm0Z=Z-ZI8c-uK89Ǘ]n$ zZ=GŲ^;G?PG.m񝡷v1̎6P%oS1ȶd8xҗiRI;yEd3uyr_QĚOCLBw5D N+@ynܛ$%n2.Kt)i#Ʀx⬲*$y"QPqKӵg+m^&ӔPܭ!É>Y=_ 5Cl),% ŞMI??WTA64VXS)A>Ij~,ޟkt-eS;$.4d'14xƜIoJ Hz|O gkJ!峓p!4#Hi1 >"F""kwX KjGL=+u-]*|@;\$(*ar6xSj9#{X)mYM*XrPE6hSBmzhъ>t[s45%_eGK (|"6#) [uV:xa׉2I)[X$"fYcZn*Gw91e.)z׋e),1F 8|6^(ƽ2n+xn)LFЂd?1S| H}^bV!# <.,xR4S7rr9n^tQ(IT}Ϟ<%2[32ޭ"y>U}>\e>2&%`_mJG 6o722s´Diz?[O\DNn!*nKzoIU.5[3*V$Lyef2.DRp݊a(1AJY0 +.cDpUU9.*ɗTN)dl#yә}2XqƫҪvs# .YCLɟƤKGuoq4Ȇݙ+:,87'¼r'3?hXMNѺ$% ):!с%hc s\YaVw$C*'LG ]2S$#i5e4V!A<4馨2[!y|ከɦH:J(UNXeJ~Wt}5a JƟlU]/o*_Vjd ?ثkƿ*k꯿,Ja)sRl!WK£ 'U⪑Se*pi)|4t<k~X[^5u}VSZjB_O6\8?Ux_*ky`) l/>UQ+u?)G~1 <*yb#) |G6*]Vh?Uk~G Ministry Significance  I am needed & important Dependency encouragedt- 0- 0  Types of Potential ChallengesDOpportunistic misconducts Based on reaction to  greed  desire Personal immaturity causing impulsiveness Associated with guilt and excuses  It was not serious! Orchestrated misconducts Planned and manipulated exploitation Counselor is aware of the behavior There is deception and cover-upbrhr  h Types of Counselor Sexual Issues Attempts in Narcissistic Self-Repair Active ;N R (Pre-Meditated, Planned) '` ]R JR Passive R (Not Consciously-Planned) Y G%x " " " " %( ,$B$b$  ,%(b(Narcissistic Self-RepairSelf-Esteem Issues: I am Important-Worthy I am lovable I must not be ignored or abandoned I enjoy (crave) attention from pretty women Control Mastery Issues It hurts too much to be unloved I must love myself (Egotism-Narcissism) I will succeed in intimacy striving myselfL*\s*\s Types of Counselor Sexual Issues zAttempts in Narcissistic Self-Repair Active;NR(Pre-meditated, Planned)'`]RJR PassiveR(Not Consciously-Planned) YG Neediness: Push-Pull effect ZZY` (b) Pain Reduction: Escape from suffering Opportunistic: Put self in vulnerable situation Object of  love obsession: Your  fan b  Trapped to be destroyed: Revenge driven%J " Z" %b HActive ;NR(Pre-meditated, Planned)'`]RJR*% $`Pedophiles (Child-Molesters) bzoW Exploitative-Oppressive Expressions TO g~a Can be seen in early teenage years Two groups Married with children: Socialized other problems (Money: borrowing, embezzle) Single: Isolated & under-or-unsocialized The most dangerous group if smart & charismatic Have serial marriage, as rapists & serial killers!ZVFOF)ZbZ$c$$cc.$O )  b6Passive R (Not Planned) YGNeediness: Push-Pull effect ZZY`(b) Pull Effects (External factors) YbbRϑ Post-modernism in the 21st century Sex culture in post-modernist life Media: TV, movies, video programs, advertising Why?  Sex sells! Visual stimulation of men Push Effects (Internal factors) gQ(WcRϑ Unsatisfied marital relationship: Mid-life crisis Career Disillusions: Sense of failure Children s birth & growth: empty nest#" Z&F " F&F~ " F# ,/,      L6Passive R (Not Planned) YG"Pain Reduction: Escape from suffering Neediness: Push Effect ZZY`(b) Doubted marriage decision was a good one Wife is not supportive: Source of frustration Marital relationship maintained: But unhappy Conflicts are denied: No skill to resolve or repair With increased responsibilities: More frustration Unassertive husband bears pain & wished it ends Novelty extra-marital relationship: No history, NewTD" ZN " Z&$46Passive R (Not Planned) YGOpportunistic: Put self in vulnerable situation Unaware of limits & boundaries Adult-child of dysfunctional family Physically, emotionally or sexually abused Unhealthy emotional limits; greed 2k Too much disclosure of personal-marital issues Unable to say  no to women excessive self disclosure Tangled in dual relationships:  church secretary Can t say no to pretty women: Pedestal effect Wife has a bad history: This woman does not This woman is younger & prettier:  There s hope O " P$" P" P. " P]" P0$F `/72.  \*  #6Passive R (Not Planned) YGObject of  love obsession: Your  fan b Secret admirer: Relationship in the  mind You are object of an emotional transference An  ideal husband that should be or have been An  ideal father who is loving and warm An  old boy friend who was nicer than spouse She  loves you to avenge your wife for  it is not fair because  she s too lucky H" " S" SZ6Passive R (Not Planned) YG Trapped to be destroyed: Revenge driven Woman is a  men-hater : Conquer them! Power & control expressed by woman Usually very attractive, show-off & intelligent Casual & easy sex: To  catch you Uses relationship as black-mail Uses relationship or  pregnancy to black-mail  Part-time relationship better than no relationship Unusual reason: Spiritual warfare?*" ZI " P0" P"" Z" Z# " P* I0"  /5#4Sb\vўvP[ \NTv  '` Vdw1 < c<a` PMelvin W. Wong, Ph.D. ÞIP^ ZSX Licensed Clinical Psychologist ChristianMentalHealth.com 220 Montgomery Street, Suite 1098, San Francisco, California, U.S.A. (`N o)F2@(#F (c*c& ,0$!c&c(c$ 2 Day Two \NTv'`VpbNw1. c0g0  Reduced sexual desires for spouse: Age vs. health Spouse unwilling to satisfy sexual desire Pornography preoccupies counselor s life Masturbation into marriage: Spouse unaware Sexual attraction to female other than your wife Sexual experience with woman in your church Sexual experience with your wife s best friend Same-sex feelings that do not go away with prayerNnZ2*)2ZPhysical-Emotional Intimacy Stages`aNSOvяvk.."f( e("    nJ)Y (`O}Y )Yl N/) NcOo` (ehb?!) Y g>yg NScSvSOc ([ \e!) 2NekSOvc (xdKb, Ɂ, -, U, p) '`c '`ܕ| (7u\Ovܕ|YƖ-N(W'`) " n " nff%f ff f ffff f3f3ffff6     The Physical Intimacy-Orgasmic CycleSOvя'`Nؚnov_t (Copyright Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)fZ$f% eg%f%&f @$    %  [a/fgz}Yv SOvя_~a_n ~a__'`vؚno '`ؚno_naCN}Y '`vؚnoa[ܕ|a/fgz}Yv '`ؚnoS!qaX0Wzl d[[ bNO NUN u&P ;ed'` a` 1Yg zha +cWeat?Z+P de.d d!di  N,NZZY`(b)v_tyrrF*$^7u'`: bv P'` (b!qPS) sY'` :  } v P'` (_t&qnaN|^y)]pov})F6F6F6F,F6F6 F6F,~ Hazards of a Counselor<Public Self: Are you genuine in public? Private Self: Are you a different person at home? Genuine Self: Reconciling Public & Private Selves How do you know what is your real self? Have you already lost your genuine self? Is there a place where you can be real? Do you have fellow Counseling partners to be real with?JQ`Z2Q(8Specific Counselor HazardsLimits Violation: Client, Congregation member, personal friend, counselee, baby-sitter, friend of my wife, lunch partner? Boundary Violation: Limit conversation content Relational Dependence: Can you do without her? Emotional Dependence: You must talk to her? Sexual Dependence: Have you already violated sexual boundary  So can t stop? 8R/,NOver-Coming The PitfallsaBuild Friendships: Dual Relationships & Boundaries. Can you have a close friend? Learn to establish intimate relationships: Vulnerability Variety of friendships, no dual relationships Friend to your Spouse & Children Balance of Rational-Emotional Awareness Accountability Group: Other pastors, counselor Get Personal Counseling for self: ConfidentialityJQQ9O(aWcw__tQ@W (N9}) <$jwww.ChristianMentalHealth.com **** www.AsianPsy.com **** www.ChineseMentalHealth.com **** Dr. Melvin WongZkP((F(B(8F(!0!0#3!09T  Sexual Desires and the Pursuit of Holiness `2k)Y@b܌ Available at www.ChristianMentalHealth.com3  P-b0b(F, F,F,*-   /TPb  ` f3Eh` ff` MMMwww` ff3f3>?" dd@,?nKd@  d @nK` d n?" dd@   @@``PR    @ ` ` p>> j b   (  T 1  "1  S BC1DEF ?Z B 0Z @1  S BB C DEF?rA r @\   S B+ C DEF?v*  v @   S BCIDEF??H\ @ I  N4gֳgֳ ?"  T Click to edit Master title style! !   Z91 ?"``  Z* 2   Z`81 ?"`   \*(2   ZTA1 ?"`   \*(2Z   fE1 ?"   RClick to edit Master text styles Second level Third level Fourth level Fifth level!     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" # .@Times New Roman- .2 GZPh.D.. .2 FYPh.D..Aз- .2 Yd888. .2 Wd888.Aз- . 2 դh33. . 2 դh33.@Times New Roman- .42 Licensed Clinical Psychologist        . .42 Licensed Clinical Psychologist        .@Times New Roman- .'2 ChristianMentalHealth'1+. .'2 ChristianMentalHealth'1+.@Times New Roman- . 2 .com .. . 2 .com ..@Times New Roman- .<2 #220 Montgomery Street, Suite 1098,  & !      . .<2 #220 Montgomery Street, Suite 1098,  & !      .@Times New Roman- .92 D!San Francisco, California, U.S.A.         . .92 C!San Francisco, California, U.S.A.         .Aз- . 2 ](. . 2 [(.Aз- . 2 w䤯56. . 2 u䤯56. . 2 ½Ķ56. . 2 ½Ķ56.Aз- . 2 g). . 2 e).--"System-&TNPP & ՜.+,D՜.+,   cOn-screen Show Times New Roman Wingdings 標楷體 新細明體ArialBlue DiagonalG打開輔導者的黑盒子 輔導人員的 “性” 困擾與陷阱 Universal ChallengesTypes of Potential Challenges!Types of Counselor Sexual IssuesNarcissistic Self-Repair!Types of Counselor Sexual Issues/Active 主動(Pre-meditated, Planned)性剝削$Passive 被動 (Not Planned) 外遇$Passive 被動 (Not Planned) 外遇$Passive 被動 (Not Planned) 外遇$Passive 被動 (Not Planned) 外遇$Passive 被動 (Not Planned) 外遇G打開輔導者的黑盒子 輔導人員的 “性” 困擾與陷阱 Day Two"輔導人員的性困扰与陷阱PowerPoint PresentationDPhysical-Emotional Intimacy Stages情感与肉体的親近的階段uThe Physical Intimacy-Orgasmic Cycle肉体的親近至性交高潮的循環 (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000)*一般華人婚外情(戀)的心理特色Hazards of a CounselorSpecific Counselor HazardsOver-Coming The Pitfalls基督徒心理网址 (介紹)PowerPoint Presentation  Fonts UsedDesign Template Slide Titles 8@ _PID_HLINKSAh&http://www.christianmentalhealth.com/http://www.asianpsy.com/$http://www.chinesementalhealth.com/'_rDr. Melvin WongDr. Melvin Wong  !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxz{|}~Root EntrydO)Pictures-Current UserSummaryInformation(y%PowerPoint Document(DocumentSummaryInformation8