ࡱ> `!~\*Pe!\˜XwBLxŜ}lGgg⏦vԬSC{Nm^u}ޝ葞V(BAT - vgn*5|޾fvܞv`>p`/Я3nVJd?(J2W$ ^n^C" ,=h]ƚ[ZT!zƶw`۾;k] ՞u3nf_g bS8g*2ݝ @aX7VO:4 .}+M#=j@6ѫhF9 [)35e0ŏÁW0rzh8xnC)4#s)Z_r^d7Z2 AW5~$78oRٝsjuD#u0 xHɚH|!n^shnd!hFC72;",`>_Yr&C8.ާg-`zj1z{zJ+ @mLpMA;\9/CV}zRrL_7yLH,ɆW< VɪmG"9OzRa\VЊd6#9"3O:gR͸^۔4伥7~zfeH_SdEr!7~z R&.+hErmGrErGoxWz׫=qY!!§EB+JШt"qAX}ihU>XVohduU>X.mhRU>Xkhd0U>Xhh r ˯[9X9%F ?W(HN<? v*\nf<{g8jL@D[>n- ~Md_}9/";킭҉l6njcxc\*8 |@eP_K"6݊c.|Jm/llckrv~Z 6_j@rqFżePd s@{GO8']<뀉`s9 9_ooLW+g9cr]}7A Sju Fq1~UBr\j.fu \zKԪͬVW3F \~ u48*Y;S6g(ZeCgݍ~1F+h4;4v03fc}FC 3cCVQwYH^ X_+WgluȚZ lCu;ʶ\ԊdhH-0LTǟ{qleMH 呜61w+)rYS+|"Y:C+G)rYS+یH.ezTw+)grYS#gqUDMVu&γHTM' MY2}%^s] Fg&&Fلx_M'0WS #yDفrȻ48rHH&PϠ_#S͗'Jy4i [4nI7j,> G?:fB}FE4u{g(۽xi=bȲۤaCΜS L03ݢ>&D梚$6acN |enM_{KN֊۔d d] ֥^͸֊d6#7;2~RM+."翩I;5K^eV${ lS>M.XzE[BY4iV6&m fӤ-[!,ye+deOl5liҖrlr!C|0$v6QáuRвsu3po" 5D?7A)>||*)ȩR֗Yǟ>Uyީq|.}\8/Es^*:cʼnsPO$P#`,K FΗ39anT)Ls+3_0όTEj)%NoY52*l\+Vbc(zOrder 4: Husband and Wife +YYYc g Relationships between husband and wife is similar to clothing (change them at will) Women s identity begins after marriage N_: (W[_6r QZ_+Y O_P[ Authoritarianism: Do as the husband says, obey Reinforces dependency:  Husband-pleasing Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility Faithfulness in marriage: Wife must be chasteZZ'ZZZg,Tb 'b g!/bb bb!b.b6Dependent Identity of WomenDependency vs. Independency Tasks Seasons of Dependency Developmental Dependency of Women Three stages of Identity formation N_ Depends on father when young (W[_6r Depends on husband when marriedQZ_+Y Depends on son when oldO_P[ d}g)g!gg%Husband and Wife RelationshipsnWomen suffer and sacrifice silently She becomes a martyr-sacrificial lamb of the dysfunctional family & inflicts the same pain upon her daughter and in-laws She copes by Denial and Resignation:  fate Poor husband-Wife relationship is the norm Extra-marital affairs, Informal Mistresses, Concubines, Polygamy(8'!A!Common Marital DisordersAngry Husband - Depressed-Hurt Wife Angry Wife - Withdrawn Husband Avoidance of Emotional Involvements Focus on the Concrete, Practical issues Over-Rationalization, Over-Intellectualization Judgment Passing: Reason, Right or Wrong Rigid Structure, Non-Cohesive: Stress prone @g-gSeven Facets of Chinese Face Work After Bond and Hwang  Six types of face work Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.2001-20026v"b(3b!b 6N "XOrigin of shameThe lack of a personal identity: Who am I? External vs. Internal shame mechanisms Parents against their children: Name calling Children s cruelty against their peers: Name calling Personal handicaps:  Imperfections Compares & Contrasts: Athletes, models & stars Physical features: Aging, race, skin color Need for acceptance &  measuring-up .RR $Y Shame & Blame\Projection is a defense against shame: anxiety Blame is externalizing of an internal conflict The person does not take ownership for shame  It is easier that shame is on you & not on me  I will be a no body when I am not perfect  I am not worthy, to be rejected when I am wrong This is a homeostatic approach to balance anxiety There is little introspection: No learning-maturity Self-Defeating, tragic outcomes: Hiding SecretsX/\d/\d7j{Basic Human Conditions & Chinese Cultural Perspectives (Adapted from Rev. Daniel Ng, Chinese Churches Today, 26, Dec. 2000)|P7E Issue of Existence: Reasons for Living uX[OULvT{ Issue of Life s Crises: Reasons for Pain qSOULvT{ Issue of Death: Perspectives on Dying {kNOULvT{b(g$)g$&g$8k.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c6LExistence uX[OULvT{ Confucius thought is the most practical based on the here and now To be a good person is to follow  Heavenly Reason and your  Conscience <^y }͑][9rZ )YS`NSя O_ '` Meaning of live is to be a moral person, not be influenced by outside forces but governed by internal goodness ,g_UIr F$g$$BIeoe9l.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c6Dealing with Crises qSOULvT{ Confucius thought is the most practical based on the moral strength of an individual Unlike Buddhism & Taoism: Cause & Effect <^y mi1X Acceptance of crises as unavoidable as fate }T_NNN Nu NYavN8^kQ]N N(`)Y, N$\N, Nx[ NT )Y\M'YNeeN_N,_RvQK{,vQ__r)ZZ,ZZ%$g$$U)e,5 e :m.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c66Death & Dying {kNOULvT{ Through a person s descendents and blood-ties to establish an ever-ending genealogy To establish achievement & recognition morally & verbally zR z_ z Nyv N=g There is no after-life, after-death, a person exists historically & in the memories of love ones myVy_k:an g$ T :g a g %>Confucianism: The Drawbacks(Professor Fu Wei-Feng, UC San Diego 94-Nov-14 Harvard Divinity School Community relation is not emphasized or developed. Focused too much on the individuals & family T[ꁃcMR Lacks social responsibilities Not critical enough of negative characteristics of men NR'`,gUdGZZ%$"a$c$X$c$;nBuddhismAn Indian prince s response to human pain Prince lived a life of pleasure within palace gate Noticed pain of peasants when outside gate Pondered about the sad human condition Personal guilt of pleasure that was for granted Social sufferings: Birth, aging, illness, death Bad things happen to you because you have done something wrong:  Karma Vg1Xa Death: Reincarnation: Good deeds*Z^Z'Z`ZnZ*^'`Gg$"<o,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6Existence uX[OULvT{ Nu(WNN: yO PWy Sy(\na) 7__Hv>e,d PNWWvP},u;m-NfYH;mvzzSatXvS Personal practice of Zen:  Restful-sitting position of Meditation and  Quiet Meditation to purity the spirit and the body to adjust to the changes of the complexities in living Similar to the New Age practice of Yoga & meditation: Personal & convenient|Ln F$g$%g fg =p,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6TDealing with Crises qSOULvT{ Temple Worship is based on Reciprocity !qN N{v N[k Crisis Worship (Transactional) s^Bf Nq %`b[Os Crises-Bad Things happen: Retribution qS}pyvOnOmi1X$g$$'f$ g$ f$ g$&f$ g$$ ,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6(karma Vg1Xa)Is Fate/f}T-Nl[ Accept or Change Fate by Prayers-Chants-Mantras or be Vegetarians (Not kill animal life-Preserve life to gain life) Qeel/fcS}TKb_}Hyyc } Performing good works,  Set Animals Free to score points to Alter Fate TMz_MzU>euOIqS:gZg$f$g$f$g$Cf$2dg$Hf$ g$>q,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6Death & Dying {kNOULvT{ Reincarnation: Three Changes & Six Cycles NNAmI mQS*V Punishment for the bad is in 18th level of hell Sb=ASkQd\0WDs* x0$g(*f! g(0dg(g%,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``*c6To prevent the deceased from being cast into the 18th level of hell, family members (son) must perform good deeds to make up TNTP[k[NHQNZPNR_O܈ These Rituals become parts of mourning Vdk,HQN{kTv1Y=aSNn\ It takes 18 years to return to adulthood (new life) [OYe*V_:ASkQt^TSNh}Y"o}7ZPE}d g(g$'dg$ g(4fg%?r4Chinese Sexual Beliefs (Role of Women) (Adapted from Christian Ethics: Principles and Applications, Dr. Ping-Cheung Lo, Hong Kong Baptist University  92)<06Taoism SYe`` Tenets: Longevity, Transcend to Become a god Methods: Diet, Qigong, Meditation By Practicing Special Sexual Techniques  Take from Yin to Compensate Yan Virgins & Women used as means to an end to benefit the Men s desire to have longevity  Return Sperm to Compensate Brain Sex to benefit Men s desire for longevity & stamina 8Z.8PJP"ZVZ#Z4Z$g($."$(""$V#  4The Five-Hierarchical Harmonious Relationships (The Five-Orders  Wu Lun ) N+P Copyright (C) Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. 1996-2001B{/c!.  /4Wabow'(IPb  ` f3Eh` ff` MMMwww` ff3f3>?" dd@,?nKd@  d @nK` d n?" dd 33ggPR    @ ` ` p>>     (   T 1   "1   S BC1DEF ?Z B 0Z @1   S BB C DEF?rA r @\    S B+ C DEF?v*  v @    S BCIDEF??H\ @ I   Ngֳgֳ ?"  T Click to edit Master title style! !   Z 1 ?"``  @* 2   Z1 ?"`   B*(2   Z䜸1 ?"`   B*(2Z    f1 ?"   RClick to edit Master text styles Second level Third level Fourth level Fifth level!     SZ   B޽h? ? f3Eh Blue Diagonal     0 $A (  $T 1 $ "1 $ S BC1DEF ?Z B 0Z @1 $ S BB C DEF?rA r @\  $ S B+ C DEF?v*  v @  $ S BCIDEF??H\ @ I $ N4mgֳgֳ ?" m T Click to edit Master title style! ! $ Hmgֳgֳ ?"` @  m W#Click to edit Master subtitle style$ $  $ ZVl1 ?"`` m D* 2  $ Zr1 ?"`  l F*(2  $ Zr1 ?"`  r F*(2Z $ B޽h? ? f3Eh"0  r(    T PP ?4   z*  33gg  TPP ?* 4  |*  33gg  Z|PP ?l   z*  33gg  Z4ɸPP ?l*   |*  33gg:  Tɸy=y= ?9 \  RClick to edit Master text styles Second level Third level Fourth level Fifth level!     Sp  01 ?  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SOTD|=3DG /t&S<[Jh#<_ATW?vJ>f yC&cEve ϖ7Oq#[]_+ZMnW̥(Sߒg%GkEzaol(;ngkH;N U,kr6u\ O'֊5AB$ Vc sd GҰG;[uǕjȼZK}հ5WI l ~ݬkFٿ 6ZOjT D-Cm\zep[G[*Q|#kQH*{B]-l^~]e[9ֽ%d%˟fGR{3VLٕ4Zɮ&JBXx+ݝd~yX[[b剰a+akݷ)Rx(J~嫶-_!Wu; t <?|@_-Iphg(P&W{6cӯ|ND6'n[9/C܌7g4Y7oA9yJ\eEd=ZۖWΚWNo[sys]X[@*$tx} Yt~B.:|m,8 ~4xsϽu ,zgSyC.>֣w =kWƇXIuW]Ǖ\ Jt9S9S9S9S9S9S9ӻ*?-v_qr0| B& 1  #er6>owC"$I' 7S9Im  5p{؍ q#Wk(   7jDocument Word.Document.80.Microsoft Word Document/ 00DTimes New Romanjbbv 0b( 0DWi Oh+'0 h     &Asian-American Culture & Philosophies0siaMelvin W. Wong, Ph.D. &elvelvSC:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\Presentation Designs\Blue Diagonal.potDr. Melvin Wong343Microsoft PowerPoint 4.0t O@"@Yo@vA\'@ 33Gg   & &&#TNPP 2OMi9 & TNPP &&TNPP    && "--- $ - $  - $- $((- $((22- $22<<"- $<<FF%- $FFPP)- $PPZZ,- $ZZdd1- $ddnn4- $nnxx8- $xx<- $?- $C- $F- $K- $N- $R- $U- $Z- $^- $a- $f- $i- $m- $q- $u- $""x- $"",,|- $,,66- $66@@- $@@JJ- $JJTT- $TT^^- $^^hh- $hhrr- $rr||- $||- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $&&- $&&00- $00::- $::DD- $DDNN- $NNXX- $XXbb- $bbll $llvv- $vv- $- $ $- $ $- $ $- $- "--&&&{&--yH-- - @Times New Roman- .2 oZ Session 3!. .2 mX Session 3!. . 2 o:-. . 2 m8-. . 2 oM1. . 2 mK1.--yH-- @Times New Roman- .2 xRMarch 22!  . .2 wQMarch 22!  . . 2 x- . . 2 w- . .2 x23, 2002 . .2 w23, 2002 .--"System-&TNPP &b( 0DWingdingsRomanjbbv 0b( 0 DjwiԚdingsRomanjbbv 0b( 0A0DArial Unicode MSjbbv 0b( 0" ` .  @n?" dd@  @@`` ` ) '' $!"   #(  3  &'* )$ $$ %/X$2$\*Pe!\ 1?P@8  g4<d<dv 0b\ppp@ g4ddddv 0bppp@  Foʚ;$ʚ;<4cdcdb{ 0b"b<4!d!db{ 0bb<4ddddb{ 0bb___PPT9? 5O =L Session 3-1 March 22-23, 2002Joy Luck Club: The MotherszSuyuan: June Lindo 15 year old bride: Waverly Ying Ying: who drowned her own son, depressed: Daughter Lena has no spirit An Mei s mom was raped and killed herself with opium dumplings: RoseJoy Luck Club: The Daughters@June (main character): Failed at Piano Waverly (Chess player): Smile naturally now mom! I always do Waverly! Lena: Has no spirit for I have none to give her. Married a miser Harold, everything is fifty fifty. Love yes, false dependency no Rose: Divorced husband of rich family, winery and publishing house. Mrs. Jordany*Order  !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~Root EntrydO)*<3PicturesCurrent UserMSummaryInformation(PowerPoint Document(?DocumentSummaryInformation80ngdingsRomanjbbv 0b( 0 DjwiԚdingsRomanjbbv 0b( 0A0DArial Unicode MSjbbv 0b( 0" ` .  @n?" dd@  @@`` `   ''      3  * $ $$ /X$2$\*Pe!\ 1?P@8  g4<d<dv 0b\ppp@ g4ddddv 0bppp@  Foʚ;$ʚ;<4cdcdb{ 0b"b<4!d!db{ 0bb<4ddddb{ 0bb___PPT9? 5O =L Session 3-1 March 22-23, 2002Joy Luck Club: The MotherszSuyuan: June Lindo 15 year old bride: Waverly Ying Ying: who drowned her own son, depressed: Daughter Lena has no spirit An Mei s mom was raped and killed herself with opium dumplings: RoseJoy Luck Club: The Daughters@June (main character): Failed at Piano Waverly (Chess player): Smile naturally now mom! I always do Waverly! Lena: Has no spirit for I have none to give her. Married a miser Harold, everything is fifty fifty. Love yes, false dependency no Rose: Divorced husband of rich family, winery and publishing house. Mrs. Jordany*Order 3: Older brother and younger brother++!DQ_YKb Brothers (older and younger) are like hands and feet (they are irreplaceable, blood is thicker than water) Older-brother in command during father s absence Facilitates family operations: Internally-externally Authoritarianism: Do as the brother says, obey Reinforces dependency:  Must please brother Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility<Z6F1ndZlZg,6b 6b1b5bb bb-b>bc(zOrder 4: Husband and Wife +YYYc g Relationships between husband and wife is similar to clothing (change them at will) Women s identity begins after marriage N_: (W[_6r QZ_+Y O_P[ Authoritarianism: Do as the husband says, obey Reinforces dependency:  Husband-pleasing Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility Faithfulness in marriage: Wife must be chasteZZ'ZZZg,Tb 'b g!/bb bb!b.b6Dependent Identity of WomenDependency vs. Independency Tasks Seasons of Dependency Developmental Dependency of Women Three stages of Identity formation N_ Depends on father when young (W[_6r Depends on husband when marriedQZ_+Y Depends on son when oldO_P[ d}g)g!gg%Husband and Wife RelationshipsnWomen suffer and sacrifice silently She becomes a martyr-sacrificial lamb of the dysfunctional family & inflicts the same pain upon her daughter and in-laws She copes by Denial and Resignation:  fate Poor husband-Wife relationship is the norm Extra-marital affairs, Informal Mistresses, Concubines, Polygamy(8'!A!Common Marital DisordersAngry Husband - Depressed-Hurt Wife Angry Wife - Withdrawn Husband Avoidance of Emotional Involvements Focus on the Concrete, Practical issues Over-Rationalization, Over-Intellectualization Judgment Passing: Reason, Right or Wrong Rigid Structure, Non-Cohesive: Stress prone @g-gSeven Facets of Chinese Face Work After Bond and Hwang  Six types of face work Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.2001-20026v"b(3b!b 6N "XOrigin of shameThe lack of a personal identity: Who am I? External vs. Internal shame mechanisms Parents against their children: Name calling Children s cruelty against their peers: Name calling Personal handicaps:  Imperfections Compares & Contrasts: Athletes, models & stars Physical features: Aging, race, skin color Need for acceptance &  measuring-up .RR $Y Shame & Blame\Projection is a defense against shame: anxiety Blame is externalizing of an internal conflict The person does not take ownership for shame  It is easier that shame is on you & not on me  I will be a no body when I am not perfect  I am not worthy, to be rejected when I am wrong This is a homeostatic approach to balance anxiety There is little introspection: No learning-maturity Self-Defeating, tragic outcomes: Hiding SecretsX/\d/\d7j{Basic Human Conditions & Chinese Cultural Perspectives (Adapted from Rev. Daniel Ng, Chinese Churches Today, 26, Dec. 2000)|P7E Issue of Existence: Reasons for Living uX[OULvT{ Issue of Life s Crises: Reasons for Pain qSOULvT{ Issue of Death: Perspectives on Dying {kNOULvT{b(g$)g$&g$8k.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c6LExistence uX[OULvT{ Confucius thought is the most practical based on the here and now To be a good person is to follow  Heavenly Reason and your  Conscience <^y }͑][9rZ )YS`NSя O_ '` Meaning of live is to be a moral person, not be influenced by outside forces but governed by internal goodness ,g_UIr F$g$$BIeoe9l.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c6Dealing with Crises qSOULvT{ Confucius thought is the most practical based on the moral strength of an individual Unlike Buddhism & Taoism: Cause & Effect <^y mi1X Acceptance of crises as unavoidable as fate }T_NNN Nu NYavN8^kQ]N N(`)Y, N$\N, Nx[ NT )Y\M'YNeeN_N,_RvQK{,vQ__r)ZZ,ZZ%$g$$U)e,5 e :m.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c66Death & Dying {kNOULvT{ Through a person s descendents and blood-ties to establish an ever-ending genealogy To establish achievement & recognition morally & verbally zR z_ z Nyv N=g There is no after-life, after-death, a person exists historically & in the memories of love ones myVy_k:an g$ T :g a g %>Confucianism: The Drawbacks(Professor Fu Wei-Feng, UC San Diego 94-Nov-14 Harvard Divinity School Community relation is not emphasized or developed. Focused too much on the individuals & family T[ꁃcMR Lacks social responsibilities Not critical enough of negative characteristics of men NR'`,gUdGZZ%$"a$c$X$c$;nBuddhismAn Indian prince s response to human pain Prince lived a life of pleasure within palace gate Noticed pain of peasants when outside gate Pondered about the sad human condition Personal guilt of pleasure that was for granted Social sufferings: Birth, aging, illness, death Bad things happen to you because you have done something wrong:  Karma Vg1Xa Death: Reincarnation: Good deeds*Z^Z'Z`ZnZ*^'`Gg$"<o,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6Existence uX[OULvT{ Nu(WNN: yO PWy Sy(\na) 7__Hv>e,d PNWWvP},u;m-NfYH;mvzzSatXvS Personal practice of Zen:  Restful-sitting position of Meditation and  Quiet Meditation to purity the spirit and the body to adjust to the changes of the complexities in living Similar to the New Age practice of Yoga & meditation: Personal & convenient|Ln F$g$%g fg =p,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6TDealing with Crises qSOULvT{ Temple Worship is based on Reciprocity !qN N{v N[k Crisis Worship (Transactional) s^Bf Nq %`b[Os Crises-Bad Things happen: Retribution qS}pyvOnOmi1X$g$$'f$ g$ f$ g$&f$ g$$ ,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6(karma Vg1Xa)Is Fate/f}T-Nl[ Accept or Change Fate by Prayers-Chants-Mantras or be Vegetarians (Not kill animal life-Preserve life to gain life) Qeel/fcS}TKb_}Hyyc } Performing good works,  Set Animals Free to score points to Alter Fate TMz_MzU>euOIqS:gZg$f$g$f$g$Cf$2dg$Hf$ g$>q,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6Death & Dying {kNOULvT{ Reincarnation: Three Changes & Six Cycles NNAmI mQS*V Punishment for the bad is in 18th level of hell Sb=ASkQd\0WDs* x0$g(*f! g(0dg(g%,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``*c6To prevent the deceased from being cast into the 18th level of hell, family members (son) must perform good deeds to make up TNTP[k[NHQNZPNR_O܈ These Rituals become parts of mourning Vdk,HQN{kTv1Y=aSNn\ It takes 18 years to return to adulthood (new life) [OYe*V_:ASkQt^TSNh}Y"o}7ZPE}d g(g$'dg$ g(4fg%?r4Chinese Sexual Beliefs (Role of Women) (Adapted from Christian Ethics: Principles and Applications, Dr. Ping-Cheung Lo, Hong Kong Baptist University  92)<06Taoism SYe`` Tenets: Longevity, Transcend to Become a god Methods: Diet, Qigong, Meditation By Practicing Special Sexual Techniques  Take from Yin to Compensate Yan Virgins & Women used as means to an end to benefit the Men s desire to have longevity  Return Sperm to Compensate Brain Sex to benefit Men s desire for longevity & stamina 8Z.8PJP"ZVZ#Z4Z$g($."$(""$V#  4The Five-Hierarchical Harmonious Relationships (The Five-Orders  Wu Lun ) N+P Copyright (C) Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. 1996-2001B{/c!.  Biblical Order of Relationships  The New Five-Orders eN+P Copyright Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D. 1999-2001FfP6g%+ zChrist the King and His Children (Isaiah 9:6-7) Love and Sacrifice Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12) Love and Honor (Leave, Cleave becoming one flesh) Husband and Wife (Ephesians 5:21-25 ) Love and Commitment Parents and Children (Ephesians 6:1-2 ) Love and Acceptance Fellowship of Believers, Friend-Foe (1 John 4:11-12 ) One another love, Hospitality & Forgiveness (Mat 22:39)D1 " ZZ!  Z2Z& " ZZ( " ZZ6 " Z8Z DFF fFD!D2 D DFfFDDFfFD$ F  F  f  F ,$D$ $F$/PWabow'(IPbD   ~(   ~  s *wF   j   s *{F  <$0 F "p`PpN  6޽h ? ̙33,0  |(   d  c $   F  3 rFQeQe9 \  F  H  0cNo~ ? a(r$ 8 i$lWk(   7jDocument Word.Document.80.Microsoft Word Document/ 00DTimes New Romanjbbv 0  ՜.+,0   {On-screen Show?  Times New Roman Wingdings 標楷體Arial Unicode MSBlue DiagonalMicrosoft Word Document Session 3-1Joy Luck Club: The MothersJoy Luck Club: The Daughters+Order 3: Older brother and younger brotherOrder 4: Husband and Wife Dependent Identity of WomenHusband and Wife RelationshipsCommon Marital Disorders{Seven Facets of Chinese Face Work After Bond and Hwang “Six types of face work“ © Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.2001-2002Origin of shameShame & Blame|Basic Human Conditions & Chinese Cultural Perspectives (Adapted from Rev. Daniel Ng, Chinese Churches Today, 26, Dec. 2000) Confucius Thinking 儒家思想 Confucius Thinking 儒家思想 Confucius Thinking 儒家思想Confucianism: The Drawbacks BuddhismBuddhist Thinking 佛教思想Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想Chinese Sexual Beliefs (Role of Women) (Adapted from Christian Ethics: Principles and Applications, Dr. Ping-Cheung Lo, Hong Kong Baptist University ‘92)The Five-Hierarchical Harmonious Relationships (The Five-Orders “Wu Lun”) 五倫 Copyright (C) Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. 1996-2001qBiblical Order of Relationships “The New Five-Orders” 新五倫 Copyright © Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D. 1999-2001  Fonts UsedDesign TemplateEmbedded OLE Servers Slide Titles'_jDr. Melvin WongDr. Melvin Wong 3: Older brother and younger brother++!DQ_YKb Brothers (older and younger) are like hands and feet (they are irreplaceable, blood is thicker than water) Older-brother in command during father s absence Facilitates family operations: Internally-externally Authoritarianism: Do as the brother says, obey Reinforces dependency:  Must please brother Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility<Z6F1ndZlZg,6b 6b1b5bb bb-b>bc(zOrder 4: Husband and Wife +YYYc g Relationships between husband and wife is similar to clothing (change them at will) Women s identity begins after marriage N_: (W[_6r QZ_+Y O_P[ Authoritarianism: Do as the husband says, obey Reinforces dependency:  Husband-pleasing Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility Faithfulness in marriage: Wife must be chasteZZ'ZZZg,Tb 'b g!/bb bb!b.b6Dependent Identity of WomenDependency vs. Independency Tasks Seasons of Dependency Developmental Dependency of Women Three stages of Identity formation N_ Depends on father when young (W[_6r Depends on husband when      marriedQZ_+Y Depends on son when oldO_P[ d}g)g!gg%Husband and Wife RelationshipsnWomen suffer and sacrifice silently She becomes a martyr-sacrificial lamb of the dysfunctional family & inflicts the same pain upon her daughter and in-laws She copes by Denial and Resignation:  fate Poor husband-Wife relationship is the norm Extra-marital affairs, Informal Mistresses, Concubines, Polygamy(8'!A!Common Marital DisordersAngry Husband - Depressed-Hurt Wife Angry Wife - Withdrawn Husband Avoidance of Emotional Involvements Focus on the Concrete, Practical issues Over-Rationalization, Over-Intellectualization Judgment Passing: Reason, Right or Wrong Rigid Structure, Non-Cohesive: Stress prone @g-gSeven Facets of Chinese Face Work After Bond and Hwang  Six types of face work Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.2001-20026v"b(3b!b 6N "XOrigin of shameThe lack of a personal identity: Who am I? External vs. Internal shame mechanisms Parents against their children: Name calling Children s cruelty against their peers: Name calling Personal handicaps:  Imperfections Compares & Contrasts: Athletes, models & stars Physical features: Aging, race, skin color Need for acceptance &  measuring-up .RR $Y Shame & Blame\Projection is a defense against shame: anxiety Blame is externalizing of an internal conflict The person does not take ownership for shame  It is easier that shame is on you & not on me  I will be a no body when I am not perfect  I am not worthy, to be rejected when I am wrong This is a homeostatic approach to balance anxiety There is little introspection: No learning-maturity Self-Defeating, tragic outcomes: Hiding SecretsX/\d/\d7j{Basic Human Conditions & Chinese Cultural Perspectives (Adapted from Rev. Daniel Ng, Chinese Churches Today, 26, Dec. 2000)|P7E Issue of Existence: Reasons for Living uX[OULvT{ Issue of Life s Crises: Reasons for Pain qSOULvT{ Issue of Death: Perspectives on Dying {kNOULvT{b(g$)g$&g$8k.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c6LExistence uX[OULvT{ Confucius thought is the most practical based on the here and now To be a good person is to follow  Heavenly Reason and your  Conscience <^y }͑][9rZ )YS`NSя O_ '` Meaning of live is to be a moral person, not be influenced by outside forces but governed by internal goodness ,g_UIr F$g$$BIeoe9l.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c6Dealing with Crises qSOULvT{ Confucius thought is the most practical based on the moral strength of an individual Unlike Buddhism & Taoism: Cause & Effect <^y mi1X Acceptance of crises as unavoidable as fate }T_NNN Nu NYavN8^kQ]N N(`)Y, N$\N, Nx[ NT )Y\M'YNeeN_N,_RvQK{,vQ__r)ZZ,ZZ%$g$$U)e,5 e :m.Confucius Thinking Q[``"c66Death & Dying {kNOULvT{ Through a person s descendents and blood-ties to establish an ever-ending genealogy To establish achievement & recognition morally & verbally zR z_ z Nyv N=g There is no after-life, after-death, a person exists historically & in the memories of love ones myVy_k:an g$ T :g a g %>Confucianism: The Drawbacks(Professor Fu Wei-Feng, UC San Diego 94-Nov-14 Harvard Divinity School Community relation is not emphasized or developed. Focused too much on the individuals & family T[ꁃcMR Lacks social responsibilities Not critical enough of negative characteristics of men NR'`,gUdGZZ%$"a$c$X$c$;nBuddhismAn Indian prince s response to human pain Prince lived a life of pleasure within palace gate Noticed pain of peasants when outside gate Pondered about the sad human condition Personal guilt of pleasure that was for granted Social sufferings: Birth, aging, illness, death Bad things happen to you because you have done something wrong:  Karma Vg1Xa Death: Reincarnation: Good deeds*Z^Z'Z`ZnZ*^'`Gg$"<o,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6Existence uX[OULvT{ Nu(WNN: yO PWy Sy(\na) 7__Hv>e,d PNWWvP},u;m-NfYH;mvzzSatXvS Personal practice of Zen:  Restful-sitting position of Meditation and  Quiet Meditation to purity the spirit and the body to adjust to the changes of the complexities in living Similar to the New Age practice of Yoga & meditation: Personal & convenient|Ln F$g$%g fg =p,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6TDealing with Crises qSOULvT{ Temple Worship is based on Reciprocity !qN N{v N[k Crisis Worship (Transactional) s^Bf Nq %`b[Os Crises-Bad Things happen: Retribution qS}pyvOnOmi1X$g$$'f$ g$ f$ g$&f$ g$$ ,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6(karma Vg1Xa)Is Fate/f}T-Nl[ Accept or Change Fate by Prayers-Chants-Mantras or be Vegetarians (Not kill animal life-Preserve life to gain life) Qeel/fcS}TKb_}Hyyc } Performing good works,  Set Animals Free to score points to Alter Fate TMz_MzU>euOIqS:gZg$f$g$f$g$Cf$2dg$Hf$ g$>q,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``"c6Death & Dying {kNOULvT{ Reincarnation: Three Changes & Six Cycles NNAmI mQS*V Punishment for the bad is in 18th level of hell Sb=ASkQd\0WDs* x0$g(*f! g(0dg(g%,Buddhist Thinking [OYe``*c6To prevent the deceased from being cast into the 18th level of hell, family members (son) must perform good deeds to make up TNTP[k[NHQNZPNR_O܈ These Rituals become parts of mourning Vdk,HQN{kTv1Y=aSNn\ It takes 18 years to return to adulthood (new life) [OYe*V_:ASkQt^TSNh}Y"o}7ZPE}d g(g$'dg$ g(4fg%?r4Chinese Sexual Beliefs (Role of Women) (Adapted from Christian Ethics: Principles and Applications, Dr. Ping-Cheung Lo, Hong Kong Baptist University  92)<06Taoism SYe`` Tenets: Longevity, Transcend to Become a god Methods: Diet, Qigong, Meditation By Practicing Special Sexual Techniques  Take from Yin to Compensate Yan Virgins & Women used as means to an end to benefit the Men s desire to have longevity  Return Sperm to Compensate Brain Sex to benefit Men s desire for longevity & stamina 8Z.8PJP"ZVZ#Z4Z$g($."$(""$V#  4The Five-Hierarchical Harmonious Relationships (The Five-Orders  Wu Lun ) N+P Copyright (C) Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. 1996-2001B{/c!.  Biblical Order of Relationships  The New Five-Orders eN+P Copyright Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D. 1999-2001FfP6g%+ zChrist the King and His Children (Isaiah 9:6-7) Love and Sacrifice Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12) Love and Honor (Leave, Cleave becoming one flesh) Husband and Wife (Ephesians 5:21-25 ) Love and Commitment Parents and Children (Ephesians 6:1-2 ) Love and Acceptance Fellowship of Believers, Friend-Foe (1 John 4:11-12 ) One another love, Hospitality & Forgiveness (Mat 22:39)D1 " ZZ!  Z2Z& " ZZ( " ZZ6 " Z8Z DFF fFD!D2 D DFfFDDFfFD$ F  F  f  F ,$D$ $F$/PWabow'(IPbr